hmmm, why does everyone want to be 18? honestly, i think it sucks to be this age. why? because no matter what you say, even if you know what you are doing, it doesn't matter, because you're just only 18.

i like the talks we have within pew's office, just spending time sharing and praying for one another, knowing that whatever is spilled there remains there. a talk within the office last weekend, has made me realise, how different my lifestyle actually is from everyone else. everyone seems so sheltered in non-teirtiary schools, i'm sure a taste of the non secular world would be a culture shock.

lasalle isn't at all like the junior colleges, nor is it like polys, because technically it's a university right, then again it isn't quite like the locals unis either. so the modules are planned in the uni way, but at the same time, you know how it goes with all those projects that matters a lot, because if you miss one grade, it'll make a whole difference on the overall grading. so i reckon the greatest difference comes abt, when school prepares you to work and when school prepares you for another school.

anyway to test my theory abt how vulenrable being this age actually is. a short walk down arab street in search of suppliers and supplies, proved it right. just within a day's walk, we had several shops marking up the quote, and one shop in particular trying to sell us a lower quality material than asked. in the last case, was a clear cheat, because we asked twice to verify, only on the third did the shop lady own to it.

and at the printshops, you know how it is when they quote you exhorbit prices, which you know you can actually get it for halved else where. or better still, go as a whole class, and you'll have bargaining power. so you bargain with them, and keep them open to print the whole class's panels till midnight, eh fio?

i reckon that students these days, aren't that dumb anymore. i don't know anyone in my previous class who hasn't worked in some form of another, even better still had a taste of the design industry. but i dare say, starting now, forces you to grow up, and face the cruelty of the money making world. i think one of the hardest things, is to make godly decisions and at the same time, to protect your own intrest.

as for the money that might be lost during this round of prints, whether i will get it back or not is really in god's hands. over these past months i have struggled to balance being a good christian and at the same time protecting my own intrest, sometimes i get so fustrated with god, like "why didn't you give me this miracle father? was it because of my lack of faith?", and i got fustrated with myself, it felt horrible. well, i guess i've learnt to let go, and i no longer blame anyone,

i think i'm probably one of the worst when it comes to managing my own finances, i don't have a plan, which i don't think i will, i also don't have the slightest clue what i'll be doing after my diploma. but for now i dont think i'm any close to planning for the future, because i like to go day by day by god's grace.

so i go forth, with a lightened heart, knowing that i have been covered in prayer by friends and family. thank you dear one for keeping me in your prayers.

i dont how much of what i wrote, makes sense, but im not going to go back to re read again, i'll just let it be because im really tired. at the same time, im really thrilled to be kick back into momentum, i worked late last night on my idea sketches for today's presentation! (: hah! cheap thrill i know. and i only had to work late because i decided to catch an afternoon movie, the lake house, it was cheesy but sweet.