huh, i recieved this in the mail, and i totally can't understand it. can a kind soul pleaseee explain to me (:

Have a humorous break!

Confucius Says...



"Man who farts in church sits in own pew."

"He who sleep on bed of nails is holy man."

"Crowded elevator smells different to midget."

"Man who sit on hot stove will rise again."

"Man who sit on tack get point."

"Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion."

"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement."

"He who stick head in open window get pane in neck."

"If you turn oriental around, he become disoriented."

"Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into own hands."

"Man who tell one too many lightbulb jokes soon burn out."

"Man who run in front of car, get tired. Man who run behind car, get
exhausted."

"Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up
with splitting headache."

"Man with one chopstick go hungry."

"War does not determine who's right. War determines who's left."

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there."

"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."



hahaa, even though i dont really have exams, well, not technically. mingying shared this prayer with me. and it's more meaningful than err "help me lord, amen" prayers (:

A Prayer for Examination
>
>
>
>Lord grant me the right attitude towards my examination,
>
>That even when I study, I want to glorify your name.
>
>Give me the strength that I may press on,
>
>Perseverance that I can endure,
>
>Good health that I may study effectively.
>
>
>
>Help me to be single-minded when I study,
>
>Remove all other thoughts, distractions and anxieties,
>
>Give me the power to concentrate,
>
>The ability to understand and to remember.
>
>
>
>Show me the way to study intelligently,
>
>To know what is important and what is not.
>
>Provide me Lord with quality time in my studies,
>
>Remove all tensions and fears within me.
>
>Fill me with Thy confidence,
>
>Teach me to draw strength from you each day.
>
>Let me learn to trust you in such times.
>
>
>
>In the examination hall, be with me Lord.
>
>Grant me the clarity and sharpness of thoughts.
>
>Let me not get distracted by things around me.
>
>Give me concentration and calmness Lord.
>
>Help me to gather my thoughts of what I've learnt.
>
>Grant me the discipline to space out time equally on all questions.
>
>Most of all, help me to complete the question on time.
>
>
>
>Despite examination Lord, continue to grant me
>
>Quality time with you, let me not neglect You.
>
>Give me a balanced diet between my studies and my service for you.
>
>I just want to commit the whole examination into your hands,
>
>knowing that You are a God who cares and answers prayers.
>
>
>
>THANK YOU