had lunch with dad last week.

having lunch with dad has always been the most perculiar thing. it's almost like having strangers sharing a table. probably one of the reasons why i don't talk about him much. he hardly knows me, likewise i hardly know him either. i use band practises as an excuse not to meet up with dad, and that's a truth, and it is because of that, that i only see him once in a couple of months.

it's funny, i'm one of those who believe in maintaining good healthy relationships with parents. i never understood how people could go home and argue over trival matters with their parents or even not talk to them. and as everyone says, i have a cool mum. she really is cool (: i can be open and talk to my mum just about anything, in fact we're on such great terms i can't even remember when's the last time we even argued.

but it's been hard with dad. everytime we talk he launches into a how to do well in school speech, probably because we have nothing to talk about. after which, we run out of conversation, and he'll talk about stuff like dinosaurs. and then, it's a long awkward silence over lunch. i have no idea how he has been doing, and i honestly i've never been bothered to ask either. dad has always been one of my greater stumbling blocks. i struggle hard telling myself that we shouldn't be this way. i still love my dad.

irony.
dad called today, i didn't pick up.

i struggle.