the joke of the day

On Aging
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear
again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" > "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought And finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one . that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Hospital regulations required a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman - already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet - who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

my latest work,
a tshirt design i did for karen's class. 5AB of 2005.
karen owes me a treat for this. lol.

front

back

yeah! i got into la salle. I really think i'll like it there (:

anyway this stuff popped up in my email.
Reminds me of dory from nemo. for having STM.
lol. it might remind you of someone else.

CRAFT is the acronym for Can't Remember A Fucking Thing
This is how CRAFT manifests itself:
I decide to wash my car.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first ;

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when take the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my chequebook off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the study where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.............

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one cheque in my chequebook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mails.

Don't laugh-if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
IF YOU HAVE'NT GOT CRAFT YET, YOU WILL !!!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!

In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity.

This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...You have to learn to deal with both the
good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan - to plant
churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions?
Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list.
He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

for those of you who have 15mins to spare.
download this. 42mb short film. http://takgiu.rantx.com/

"Tak Giu" (15mins, Singlish/with English subtitles) is an indie
film which follows the journey of 3 soccer-crazy boys. Having
taking up the challenge of a friendly soccer match, the boys
realize that it is not easy to find a good, free public soccer
field in Singapore…..if there’s any at all. Through their journey
they encounter obnoxious care-takers, locked-up fences,
deterring weather and a persistent policeman. Will they be
able to find their dream soccer pitch?

The story explores the issues of soccer amenities, and the
attitudes of Singaporeans towards local and foreign soccer.

Cast: Daison Png, Stanley Huang, Jacen Tan, Lee Whye Leong,
Mohd Suhaimi
Written, Directed and Produced by Jacen Tan. Sound/Music and Editing by Jacen Tan
(Hosay Studios 2004/05)
-simply one of the best and many hidden talents in singapore-

An excerpt from a book pei is reading:
Qn: what do you want to see if you go blind today?
Ans: tommorow.

A very simple straightforward question, but how we
chose to answer this question may vary.

what would i do if god decides to plug this whole
earth life thingy today? What happens if he
actually decides to take me away today? So how
many tommorow or tommorow tommorow or tommorow
tommorow tommorowS do we actually have left? Our
life on earth is so fragile, it can instantly
disappear.But the most important question would
be where would I be if tommorow never came? Where
would my eternity be spent? Eternity compared to
our lifetime on earth is so short, it could not
even be 0.0000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds
of what eternity is, because God's eternity is
everlasting. So assuming I had tommorows of the next
50 years or so I could always say, let's postpone
my relationship with god, i mean there's always
tommorow right? I could always read the bible
tommorow right?

really?


wanna know my answer?
i'm gonna start today.

ok, so this is how it goes.

english - B4
maths - A2
a maths - B3
chinese - C5
physics - C6
chem - E8
com hum - B3
geog - B3

okay, so my results was disappointing.
I did make it back to PJ, with an
additional minus 4 points. But tt
doesn't give me a reason to be happy right?
to all the teachers i disappointed, i'm sorry.