so i didn't exactly waste an entire roll of film, kinda freaked out, it's my first time using film, so i didn't know how the shots would turn out. the panning shots were a waste though, it caught nothing. so i reshot with the lumix i borrowed. at least some of the blusting was alright. i espically love the blue and pink lightings.

thanks guys for keeping me company last night.

tired amongst many things,
god said "come back to your first love"
in the midst of many other things,
it's hard knowing that it's all you want.

father, you know our limits better than ours.
will you allow your people understand that too?

dinner & a cute cobbler.

in maeda's words,

A material's failure to comply to a specific application
provides indication that its more natural usage lies elsewhere.

doh.
it just means you're not using the right materials,
because you don't understand the material.

so i tore up too many card boards without realising, an re-did my display case 3 times, because the prior designs didn't work the way it was designed. i felt silly, having to go back to my best friend, art friend, to buy more card board each time. it's silly to lug those a1/2 boards around school, then having to bring it home, it's big enough for me to hide behind. i'm awfully jealous of the way the guys make carrying the boards look so effortless.


and resubmissions for illustration, hurrr, just isn't my thing, i don't think everyone can be a good in rendering, it's requires such sophisitcated skills. yeah well, suang suang says i have to resubmit anyway.

-
i like the way we get to meet all sorts of people in school, and how you get to meet your friends new friends/seniors, and sometimes someone turns out to be a friend of a friend's friend unknowingly, sucha small small world. but it's been really fun getting to know new people, and just talking to them, listening to their different view points. it the kind of openess you can't find anywhere else other than art school. alice says people will think you're mad, talking to a stranger if you were in business school.

-
i've guess i've already known it for a while now, but never said anything about it before. but i guess when darren asked/told me, it kinda made me question those issues. i can't decided if there is a right thing to do, because there's neither a right nor wrong, or perhaps a non-issue at all. one thing is for sure, i no longer feel much of a belonging, suddenly i can't relate to the people i could in the past, at times i feel very much out of place, and my quietness shows it all. i guess, everything changes when you start hanging out with a different age griup altogether.

-
oh and thanks for all the b'day wishes, i felt bad for those who did wish me, but i had not clue who they were, and i didn't have the guts to ask either.

happy things

two days in a row of bad sleep.
went to bed at 11,
countless tossing in bed,
fell asleep way past 1.
those weird dreams,
almost seem so real.

ever wondered if weird dreams mean anything?

and it's not because i'm excited about my b'day. somehow i just know it has to do with the stress. i can't explain that feeling of anxiety, but it's killing my sleep, my eating habits, and my design process.

urgh!

___________________________________
___________________________________
waking up behind the double yellow lines.

it must have been a weird dream,
the first things i thought of when i woke up
are those double yellow lines.

thank you nice people who reminded me abt my b'day, because i kinda forgot abt it. lol.

thanky you very much clar & nic for your lovely cupcakes, donuts, boxer, and ear rings. the cupcakes looked pretty fun (: yes i lurrrrveee the ear rings lots, they're so so so cute (: (: (:

and thankew pedoguay & darrylguay for your lovely monsterish notebook. very fun monsters (: will defintely use it (: and uh, i've decided i don't need so many hours a day anymore, i've decided i need to go with the flow, work better with less stress (:

and hahhaa, that look on hans face when he realised my b'day was this week is priceless. really, really, priceless, i wish i took a picture. lol, i'm sure those of you who saw it would agree.

ahh, by god's grace youth sunday ended on a high afterall (:

huurr, the pre service this morning didn't look good at all, we clearly lacked practise for most of the set. and i forgot my laptop, which i still feel very bad abt. and as chris was showing me her ring this morning, i was preoccuppied worrying myself that i didn't notice it. i was telling her how blur i was, and she was trying to show me her ring, and i was still preoccuppied, so i guess we both concluded i was blurred.

such a big bad of mine, which made me turn white. forgetting to bring the laptop, afterall, i was the one holding the entire service order for the day. thank goodness, joe had a copy of it, so we managed to set his up in good time, before service started, and my laptop came in time to test the set up for the slideshow for whatsername. so that was all good.

but what really went wrong was the lack of a lead. no one was doing the queues, within the worship team, we were a total mess. i guess, the upsetting part was knowing that we weren't that bad anymore, in fact we sound really great at times, but yet shitee hapens. hurrr, but by good grace (: we redeemed ourselves during the 11am service, when chern took the lead. everything went so smoothly. and i did very much enjoy playing at the 2nd service.

oh and lunch was lovely, great catch up time, which i miss so dearly. (: i've really haven't had lunch with everyone in sucha long time, and yepp. we took photos, lots! espically with all of ash's hats. they were damn fun (:

oh yep, and one voice looks pretty good too me. in my eyes, plenty more to improve on, but at the same time, it's way much better than the last round, it's starting to look more like a zine. i guess for the next round, i need to start defining the terms of "our look" but yeah, god's grace, really, (:

and hurr, i got to go to school early tmr to finish off my photocopying, because my print outs didn't turn out too well. mmm. i guess it's always best to adjust the settings on your own.

the printshop guy says i look very stress. :/ hmm, i guess it's one of the things im trying to change, getting rid of that i'm tired look and it;s written all over my face look. yes yes, so from this day forth, you shouldn't be able to tell if i am. if you can, just don't let me know :P

haha, i guess in someway it's good im not working next week, since i didn't give lanvin my schedule in time. gd always knows my limits better than i do, so yep, it's gonna be a restful week, even though it's presentation week, i must say that i haven't felt so relaxed abt presentation week before. in the past, i probably would have gone crazy by now. but i guess, it's also because, fs has thaught us how to handle the work load and stress, so everyone kinda knows their own pace now.

i have to play "i surrender all" for the main congre tmr, and honestly, because of the last mintue arrangement, i haven't practised. so oh well, i'll have to go with the spirit tmr.

yesterday's lecture was pretty awesome (: it's abt adding value to things.

the value of things by niel cummings & marysia lewandowska

to live in a morden city is to live in an enviroment descirbed by an astonishing arrary of things. Growing mountains of clothes, tools, gifts, souvenirs, art, electronic technology, and rubbish are piling up around us. these objects find their way into every cupboard, display case, shop, home, gallery, museum, magazine, computer mointer and landfill site. durrounded by a complex mesh of competiting 'productive narratives' that distpute ownership, contest interpretation, and disagree on value, these vast accumulations of objects from laptop computers to muesum exhibits are a powerful reflection of the kinds of societies and individuals we have become. because of the ability of material things to speak to us about who we are, there exsists a continous urge to control, classify and interpret them. In effect, we use objects as a sophisitcated means of making both ourselves and our world knowable.

so we went about adding value on a things, and did a fun collective (:

like, toilet roll! where by we passed an entire roll of toilet papaer round the lecturer theater, and everyone had to add some value onto it, be it writing, or drawing, or whatever they like (:

or

like, a tshirt! search you bags & wallets, to find inspiration, and have some input onto the shirt. just that if your name starts with these letters, it is where you should make your mark on the shirt.

a,b,c,d,e - collar
f,g,h,i,j - left sleeve
k,l,m,n - right sleeve
o,p,q,r - front
s,t,u,v - back
w,x,y,z - bottom

it turned out pretty cool, i stuck the rolling stone which we got from sunrise service, and there were duct tape, scotch tape, money, other currencies, reciepts, battery packs, staples, paper clips, sweets, stickers, name cards, buttons, drawings, wrappers, barcodes, someone even sewed! and someone else cut a hole.

haha. it was fun (:
and so you see the toilet roll and hang ten shirt has become more valuable in just one session.

The psalmist wrote, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."
-Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

a friend txted me 2 days ago, "remember god" that's what he said.

and indeed, in the midst of my school work and ministry, i've forgotten to make god the centre of it all, i can't say that i've went abt being a good disciple, and my tiredness is no excuse, i'm sorry. i've forgotten the people who are important to me, and i'm sorry too, because being a good christian isn't just ministry but also to my family and friends.

display set for packaging, now i need some grey board to create the display case.





i've added 3 pages to my journal, which is kinda sad, i was hopping to add 10 today. pffft, i don't like the way you have to pen it down, and not be able to correct off your mistakes or bad english.

hurrr, so my journal is kinda slow, im kinda have slightly less than 10, i should be at 35 by now. oosh, it's really difficult to think of what to write, inspirations comes and goes, at many times of the day, but never at the point when you're at your desk all ready to write.

lol, it's kinda hard to determine what goes into your design journal. espically when you're more of a visual person, i can stuff it with loads on photos and postcards and typography that i like, but after that, what do i write? the thing abt the artsy is that we don't writing words all eloquently wordy, we like it nonsensical and short, which hmm, isn't good for a school project.

BEFORE







AFTER





bad of me. im one of those overly dependent on photoshop, it does wonders really,but i'm sure, the overly perfect edits can be told by the trained eye.

during lunch break today, i took a cab home and a cab back just to fetch my illustrations developments i've forgotten. thinking of it now, it's something i wouldn't have done if i was in a clear state of mind.

so i was kinda upset this afternoon over something, on impulse, i went to buy some hacks from lucky candy. then in a spurr of a moment i decided to go all the way down town for venezia's rum and raisin. and man, ice cream always works (: kids with ice cream are happy kids (: that makes me a happy kid.

ooch, im kinda hungry now, a slice of pizza fo break, khong guan biscuits for lunch, and rum and rasin for dinner, and more khong guan for supper. bad eating habits, :/ i'm gonna sleep off the hunger, it's kinda late to be eating.

next week is going to be a loooooong week, presentations are next week. and guess who's turning 18 next week? (:

uh okayy, this is weird, who on earth is circulating my email address among the sec1s?? and whatever for?? own up. own up.

it's like rants of an artsy fartsy doh. oh and there's these queer pair, a dog called arty and cat called farty on tv mobile. man, they kinda spoil the market.

little children made me happy on the bus this morning (: but don't worry, im not turning into a pedoguay. they were all happy to get the stand on the "wobbly part", so they sang "wobbly part" as they marched to the "wobbly part". (:

haha, the joys of being a child, when all it takes is to stand on the wobbly part to make you happy.

my latest assignments has made me a happy kid lately. it's been fun crafting again, and yeah it brought back sweet memories of the happy crafting days. haha, this morning lester carried his copic markers around school chanting "i feel like a kid now" with a wide grin across his face. so, i feel like a happy kid now too (:

and guess what, i didn't have to skip yulius class afterall, he cancelled it on his own. lol, so you see, god hears prayers. haha but i didn't pray for him to cancel it though, tha would have been just too selfish.

so the delivery of artwork to the printers went fine, i must say the printer is an awfully nice man, with nice employees too. lol, im biased, but methodists are nice ppl :P, he's willie from wesley mc btw.

and oh yay! it's over (: yay! yay!

deconstructioning maeda craft works for typography mod.

and awesome photocopying techniques.













we're gonna make an awesome book (:

sometimes i wonder, if im allowing my stupidity to get to me. i spent tonight, taking a very long time to work out various stuff. hurrr, why i so slow at figuring out the though knots. sigh. the sole consolation is, i'll eventually get there.

hurr. i know it's kinda early into the year to be skipping classes, but im gonna skip yulius afternoon class tmr anyway. i contemplated, rationalised, and know it's the best way out. since i have yet to finish illustration and photography assignments dued tues. haha but i guess the part where i didn't do his work played a role too, then there's the whole printshop/band practise factor also.

also, i realised im quite the crafter, and a messy one at it. will get pictures, when i make time for it.

my bad.
running on coffee.
swearing like nobody's business over the last week.
like it spews forth from my mouth.
ark! ark!

to bree vandecamp, there are those who are useless before theire morning coffee, and there are those who aren't.

just a wonder, what abt those who are still useless even after their morning coffee? i think those nescafe packs and cans are absolutely horrible, they need to double the shot. i think the best morning coffees are the ones from dome.

i'm starting to love playing a whole lot (:
music is sucha slow learning process.
but it just gets better and bettteerr.
it's amazing how it has become a part of me.
it's a fantabulous feeling releasing all those tension inside, by striking up chords just when you like it. very, sensational. the best part is, you'll go so smoothly with the flow without realising it. and yeah, very very relaxing, ha! only when you feel like it though.

everyone has their uninspiring days.

alright, enough of the sweet talk. i'm real tired, freaking out at the work load. it's said that if you don't have enough time you're just not doing the right stuff, or you're just watching too much tv. i uh, don't really watch tv, when i do, it's just my way of waking up in the morning or when i'm really too tired. so i think that means, i have to cut away the unecessary.

in john maeda's words, it is to "remove the unecssary and adding the meaningful" hurrr, a good move, which i very much need to do right now, starting with cutting back on those sunday meetings, i can't remember how long it's been since i had lunch with my family and friends.

and hurrr! everyday i go to school, someone tells me i'm losing weight. which is awfully weird, i'm eating all sorts of chocolates and funny stuff. and yet, it's been 2kg off ever since school started. i think it's simply because of the pressure. it's the evil pressure i tell you.

oh my! oh my! my friend broke big news last night ((: which literally woke- me up, coming home from a sleepy night shift. like finally. doh. im really really happy for her.

and guee, i can hardly wait for ov2 to blow over, im in serious shite. it's week 3, and the journal submission is on week 10. and lol, i've got 3 pages, and i should be having 100 by week 10. and oh joy, the rest of the prj1 submissions are dued week 5. sigh, time really does fly so fast, i can't believe it, but half the term is gone, and gueee, it feels like it just started.

and hurr! randomness hit me, on the way home, i was thinking of travelling somewhere, let's go somewhere? anywhere? during sem break, or perhaps mid of next year. anyone? (:

i borrowed hans's D70 last weekend for my assignments.
the shots came out quite bad, they came out blur.
partly because i didn't check, hans had switched the focus to the bottom. and also because i had set the apeture a tad too low.

i can't decide if the bus ride home was superb or an ass.
it took us one hour to move from suntec to dohby ghaut.
the upside was we got to catch the beautiful fireworks display.

at times, i just can't seem to prioritise which is more important, and at times, they both equally are. argh! school is picking up the pace now, i have triple the amt of work to complete than last week. and damned, im worried abt stuff, that i should be getting to the printers this weekend, i don't wish to disappoint people who have pinned high hopes on this.

dear god, please get me through this, i need super natural help.

im in dire need now.
inspiration from above only please.

did i mention it was mum's b'day last week, we must have had at least 4 or 5 different kinds of cake in the fridge over the last week. im completely eeked! out. the one im eating now is going to be my last slice in a long while. it's funny, clar and i only bought one, i wonder where the rest came from

so there's always something to look forward to.

my emo phase is semi-over, the inspirations are coming in, they're not fantabulous yet, but at least i've go my momentum going. even my playing has picked up a little. just let me show you the phenomena.



and i didn't mean for it to happen this way, but i got carried away! too much of goolism isn't good for healthy for me. at first it was,

then wadda rubbish.

then een oude taal aan de zuidkust van de noordzee

too much googlism for one day.